So I made a new blog…. although it should be more than obvious to those who knew my old one i guess…. But that’s beside the point. Eventually i will populate this with my thoughts and musings until then however watch this spot. Or if you don’t want to watch this spot you can check out the older blog and read my stuff I guess, if you feel compelled to do so that is *COMPELS YOU* you know, no pressure.
A somewhat deviated line of thought from my normal posts…but then of course do I ever post anything normal??? Anyway this post is basically about nursery rhymes and seeing them from a different perspective. Some of you may have seen them this way before or maybe not but after this maybe you will start to think more openly the you previously thought possible. Lol Look at me trying to make this sound like some major breakthrough in psychological science smh Lets get started shall we?
To kick things off how about we start with one of the more famous ones? Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hillTo fetch a pail of waterJack fell down and broke his crownAnd Jill came tumbling after
Seems innocent enough right???? How about this then…why in the world are they going up a hill to fetch water??? Water runs downhill right???? The way I see it, things would have been much easier for them if they got it from a source lower down. So there is obviously some hidden motive to them going up the hill right???? Right. “Jack fell down and broke his crown”… We KNOW this cant be a literal crown because no prince I have ever heard of ever went to fetch his own water, hence this crown is figurative. The way I see it the crown here could only be talking about his virginity. It is then a given that as someone having sex for the first time gets overly excited and doesnt last very long. “Jack fell down”… he came and was no longer erect basically. Such being the case “Jill came tumbling after” simply means she reached orgasm after him. Thus it is in this regard I prefer this clever more precise version of the rhyme:
Jack and Jill went up the hillTo smoke some marijuanaJack got high unzipped his flyAnd said Jill do you wanna…Jill said yes took off her dressAnd they did the hanky pankyBut Jill forgot to pop the pillAnd out popped little Franky
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wallHumpty Dumpty had a great fallAll the kings horses and all the kings menCouldn’t put Humpty together again
So after having read that the first question that come to mind is: Why was he up on the wall in the first place???? Well the answer is simple, Humpty Dumpty is a peeping tom. *sips tea* Yes a peeping tom. Can any one hazard a guess as to WHO exactly he was peeping at??? Go ahead… one guess… i’ll wait. No one??? He was checking out the Queen of course. Unbeknownst to him however the king was there that day and happened to spot him. Humpty in his frightened state, trying to escape from the King he fell. The King however thinking he had gotten away sent his soldiers after him. When they arrived on the scene however they found him lying on the ground…dead. THAT is how the story goes, the nursery rhyme was a simple cover up job by the government….
See you when part 2 comes out :p
“SWAG!” the Teenage Latino whispered, as he posted yet another photo of Kicks and a Snapback on Instagram…. Everyone alive today and actively participates in online activities has most likely already heard this terminology being used over and over…..and over again. SWAG! But… What IS Swag??????
The way in which you carry yourself. Swag is made up of your overall confidence, style, and demeanor. Swag can also be expanded to be the reputation of your overall swagger. You gain swag, or “Swag up”, by performing swag worthy actions that improve this perception. A person can also “swag down,” by being an overall pussy and garnering negative swag for their actions. Swag is a subtle thing that many strive to gain but few actually attain. It is reserved for the most swagalicious of people. Swag can also be quantified, with point systems existing in some circles of friends.
Pretty basic definition if you ask me but it doesn’t really hit home as it stands right now. So I came upon a different and more relevant definition:
A stupid saying that’s overused. People 90% are dumb teenagers, the other 10% are little ass kids trying to be cool use it for EVERYTHING and also as their facebook name thinking that shit’s cute: ‘I just opened a cabinet, SWAG.’ ‘I just fell down, lol, SWAG.’ ‘SWAGNIFICENT’ ‘(your name) idontgiveafuq gotsswagg’ ‘lives in swagtown’ ‘works at swagville’ ‘That show was so SWAG.’ ‘I just finished brushing my teeth, SWAG.’ ‘Hey guys, just woke up, SWAG.’ ‘Lol, I got kicked out of class, SWAG.’ ‘I cursed the teacher out, SWAG.’ ‘Tumbling on tumblr in class, SWAG.’ ‘(your name) the swag god’ ‘texting in class, SWAG’ … ‘SWAG.’ You don’t have no motherfucking swag.
The key thing about this definition is the very first sentence albeit the whole paragraph is gold. Like I said however, that first sentence “A STUPID saying that’s overused”. That alone could sum up this whole post as a matter of fact. The thing is, every new saying that comes out is not really bad persay, what’s bad about them is the fact that people all over CONSTANTLY misuse abuse and reuse them. As you can see in the second definition given above.
Swag however is not the only one, oh no, not by a long shot. We have the all time favourite Y.O.L.O.!!! made popular by some artiste called drake I think… “Now she want a photo you already know though, You Only Live Once that’s the motto nigga Y.O.L.O”
Somewhere on some distant planet, all life is quickly dying due to the use of the “Motto Nigga”. There is in all actuality nothing WRONG with this You Only Live Once concept however, after you DO only live once. The concept is (in the way I see it) basically saying that since you have only one life to live you should do everything you can to live your life to the maximum so that you have no regrets about the way you did in fact live. This concept however has been tarnished….. *cough* White people *cough*. Actually if you take a look at the second definition of swag up there ^ you can simply replace SWAG with YOLO and get the meaning (as it is portrayed by the ones who use it).
Kids these days, are like predators when it come to slangs. They are on a constant hunt for random situations in which they can show their new found knowledge and toss these words in to the amazement of the mentally challenged people who put up with their nonsense. Why do they put up with it you ask??? Well thats simple……. Y.O.L.O
Okay, so youre probably saying “Oh its not THAT bad”… it really is. But wait! Theres more!!! This one just recently came on the scene and is slowly growing in its notoriety! and it goes a lil something like this:
Everybody and their mommas Swerving nowadays, thanks to who???? Well… Kanye, Big Sean, Pusha T and 2 Chainz…… You know what just listen to the damn song:
If you’re thought pattern is in any way similar to mine then you should be able to equate this brash overuse of these three to my previous blog post about Dick Riding. Yes I do believe you read correctly… Dick Riding. You may be reading this and your reaction may just well be something along these lines…
If in fact you do actually have this reaction well… I couldn’t care less. Now im not saying you shouldn’t use them.. NO…in fact go ahead and use them all you want, what I’m trying to say is stop using them as if they are the only words contained within your vocabulary. I HOPE they arent the only words in your vocabulary O_O… Anyways SWAG im gonna post this up for you guys to read now cuz you know Y.O.L.O If you dont like it or you feel bad bout yourself I dont really care go have a seat over there >>>> SWERVE! (Saw how painful that was to read??? Yeah)
Hey guys, its me again…on the agenda today we have “Dick Riders”…. Yeah I Said It!! When I say dick riders however I dont mean it in a sexual manner. No not one bit, but before I actually get into the meat of the matter let me just say, I KNOW some of you who may (or may not) read this will take offence and blah blah blah but in all honesty I really could care less, Corns will be mashed! My blog, my opinion. With that being said… Lets get started shall we?
To start I believe I should at least give you a definition of the term Dick Rider. Seeing however that I wont really care what you think in this here post I took the definition from a (should be) well known site. Urban Dictionary … and it goes a little something like this:
A dick rider is a person who is usually and overzealous mindless fan of anyone(be it a rapper, singer, athlete, music genre, band, or any given thing). A dick rider see’s no flaw in whatever they are dick riding at the time, and if you happen to offer an opinion or simply not like whatever a dick rider likes, the dick rider will consider your a “hater” for offering your opinion.
Most of the times dick riders are female fans of a band, rapper, or singer who constantly praises the graces of a music artist they never met, or are going to touch in that star’s fame . Male dick riders are usually men who want to be or picks up the “swag” and attitude of their favorite artist, and they’ll swear that’s how they are (this is usually a phenomenon in the hip-hop culture)
In this day and age of technology where people are free to do a vast amount of things in the interwebs such as gain knowledge, socialize, watch movies, download music etc etc etc…. You have a select few (or vast majority, depending on how you look at it) people who chose to live their lives through others. These specimens are what I call Dick Riders. Now most of you may believe that I am looking at it the wrong way. “These people are just showing their adoration for the artistes”, “they are just showing support”, “they are just showing how much they love them”… NO! These are pure bred, pedigree Dick Riders.
Take for example a Nicki Minaj fan (They will kill me if they read this lol). There are millions of fans of Nicki Minaj as we all know probably the same amount of haters but thats the beside the point. Now I will admit that Nicki has a few good songs and that’s being generous. So give yourself a hand Nicki you have some good shit out there. Can you however actually make me believe that Stupid Hoe and Beez in the trap have ANY inkling of sense hidden within the depths of her words???? Now I dare you to say what I just said to any of her hardcore fans and prepare to bombarded with Death Threats, Racial Slurs and a whole spectrum worth of various disses and whatnot. Just go on twitter and Say something harsh with the #TeamBarbie or #PinkFriday or some other Nicki Minaj reference in it. Come on I DARE you. I remember one day Tony Matterhorn had a run in with a rabid group of them, it was entertaining to say the least. Those “barbs” are a feisty bunch and they were arguing over some seriously trivial shit. “Beez in the trap” though… Really people?? Really?
If thats not bad enough you have people who LIVE on Kanyes dick. You check their timeline what do you see??? Kanye… Check their status update…. Kanye. BBM??? Kanye. Their display pics??? Kanye… Their entire music library??? Kanye. You ask these people any question in the world as long as it has to do with Kanye and they tell you the answer at the snap of a finger, ask them anything else however and its a task and a half. I have quite a few Kanye heads on my timeline and its not a pretty sight. Heck even Kanye rides his own dick.
In accordance with this post and seeing that I am Jamaican I just HAVE to include you “Gaza” fans. Yes im gonna touch your nerves as well because you guys really irk me for some reason. Now we have all heard that Kartel was imprisoned and if you haven’t heard well such is life, but he is in prison right? Okay good. Why is he in prison you ask??? Oh not for much really he just murdered some people.. No big deal. That’s right, its no big deal, or at least that’s how you people make it seem. From the very day he was imprisoned you’ve seen all his “Fans” talking about Free World Boss and all sorts of other little phrases all crying for his freedom. That is just stupid if you ask me. Sure he has a few good songs and again I will admit it I am not afraid to admit that I don’t like all his songs either. My thing is this; Why is it that you KNOWING that this man is guilty of his crimes wanting him to walk free without doing his time???? Just so you can go out and enjoy your parties and such??? No care is given that he murdered someone as long as you get to have your fun??? Heights of stupidity if you ask me. I can almost bet that if it was an artiste who doesnt interest you as much that did said killings he would be in jail with no one screaming for his release. You guys need to set your priorities straight. Not only the fans in this case but also the rest of the jamaican artistes. Its as if they literally cant seem to throw out the usual amount of music they used to until Kartel gets released. It looks to me like he needs to say some controversial shit to get everybody thinking.
With all that being said and done, you have Dick Riders on a whole, whose lives literally revolve around these celebs. They dress like them walk like them act and even talk like them. They wake up in the morning and the first thing they do is check the latest updates made by them. If a celebrity doesn’t update then they are mostly likely to lose their minds or cant go on with their day. Its as if whatever they do relies solely on what their Celeb crush says and does. Really quite pitiful if you ask me. You people cant think for yourselves you have people who don’t even know you think for you. You really think they care about you??? They only care about their money and fame. These celebs are just normal people, just like you and me. The main difference is just that they have money and that’s all. Take it away and try to find something different and you wont. You guys need to just calm down and lower your sex drives a bit and stop riding their dicks.
So yeah, that’s my two cents about the whole matter. This post should have been done sometime ago but I just couldn’t think it through properly till now. Even now as I type I wonder if I did this correctly but its whatever. Now you are free to post your hate and disgust for the way I spoke about your beloved artistes but I really could care less. You all know its true. Anyway though I’m gonna go ahead and post this now. Adios Muchachos
Foreplay….an art-form which is on the brink of extinction. The reason for this lies mainly on the fact that most people are only capable of finding the time to cater to themselves when it comes to sex. Before I get into this however lets go over the definition of what Foreplay is exactly.
Foreplay in its most basic sense is a precursor to sex. It is in essence a series of emotional and physical connections between two (or more) people to boost sexual arousal and initiate the act of sex. These can include (but are not limited to); Kissing, Cuddling, Fondling, Hugging, Undressing and even Oral Sex. Foreplay is also known to lower sexual inhibitions. So to sum it up, Foreplay is the setting of the mood for sex. Clear??? Good, lets move on.
I look into the mirror I know what I see is me
But is it the me of now? Or the me I used to be
I see myself alone and yet I’m with my friends
My heart begins to groan for I foresee the end
Death is guaranteed life I know is not
So in the past I tried to be what the world required
And that’s just what they got I saw myself a loser a boy without a future
I never thought I’d be anything more than a murderer
But as I look deeper within that life telling mirror
I see myself at home laying on my bed
My wife is right beside me on my chest she lays her head
I begin to wonder if this life is meant for me
But as I think further I’m brought back to reality
The visions I’ve just seen make me begin to ponder
How to achieve such bliss and cast my evil ways asunder
I cast away that burden as my mind begins to plea
I now know I’ll never be the same but I can be whoever i want to be
So ill never again be the me I was but will become the me I’m destined to be
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